Greetings, from Planet Burnout.
Art Basel, Miami, FL 2023. “The Rest of Us.” | Photo by Brittny M. @thecurlykid
September 24, 2023. Real Fakes premiered at the Plaza Theater, an Atlanta staple since the 1970s.
September 20, 2023. The day I fell over on my couch, laptop in hand.
I didn’t fight it. I didn’t even cry at first. I hadn’t experienced a level of mental exhaustion since… well, it had been a very, very long time.
“BURNOUT” has a lot of buzz these days - in fact, my favorite fact is that burnout takes 7 years to recover from. I don’t know how true that is, but one thing ran true this round: I was going to sit with it.
I stopped promoting episodes of my series. I paused uploading videos from past Thee BLK Pearl performances. If it had nothing to do with ATLFF, it went untouched for almost three months.
I regret not a single thing. Because in the stillness, my “WHY” changed.
“WHY do I want to create? “WHY do I want to make films?” “WHY do I need to be validated by a television platform?” Suddenly, my “why” stopped centering on validation, and shifted to serving others.
I did not serve immediately. Instead, I sat with my “why,” some more. I sat with my desires, my fears, my evolutions, my grief, and I sat with myself.
Sometimes I journaled, and sometimes I traveled. But even then, I sat.
And then, I rested. I looked back over the past 9 years and congratulated all my iterations of self, and rested.
Have you ever come to a moment where you just can’t force it? Not that you don’t try or that you give up, but that you are so bold enough to just, sit. TO listen your body - and no one else. My biggest lesson of 2023 is that the greatest joys in life follow when you’ve listened to your body. I’ve learned so much about myself, last year, just by eradicating the bustle and the busyness. I discovered that much of what I do, means nothing if I don’t uplift other creators with me. I reacquainted myself with *new* stories I want to tell. I enjoyed being Astin - not the artist, the singer, the filmmaker, the programmer, but the woman.
Dear reader, this is likely my 5th-ish iteration of a newsletter I hope to keep consistent. In the days moving forward I will share my newest projects, proudest accomplishments and of course, my juicy and salacious unsolicited opinions about what’s popular. I’m pleased to report that I have a new excitement about life that I hadn’t experienced before, and I hope that The New Year 2024 rings the same optimism for you.
In the meanwhile, my only news right now is that Real fakes will be showing at Jackson Indie Music Week 2024, on January 14. I hope to see you there!
In the meantime, I hope that in 2024, you choose you. You define wellness, for you. You rest on your own time, and conquer with divine purpose.
Grace,
Astin.